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FollowHolly.Com (C) 2007 - 2009
MY STORY
CHAPTER 1
You may wonder why I am qualified to speak to you about weight control, as I am a lawyer and a former actress. My expertise does not lie in classroom education on diet and exercise. Instead, I have been an expert participant in the evolution of the diet and fitness industry for more than 30 years, starting in 1978 when I joined my first all-women’s gym with my mom as a 17-year-old. This is my story.
1978 was the year fitness guru Covert Bailey’s classic “Fit or Fat?” book came out. It was the first popular book touting the benefits of aerobic exercise, and as I recall, it declared you could become and stay fit with 12 minutes of exercise per day. I read it and was intrigued, so I found a gym where I could implement some of Bailey’s principles. That was my first introduction to concentrated, continuous aerobic exercise. The gym had a stationary bike on which I dutifully rode 12 minutes several times a week, and the gym owners, two middle-aged ladies who were quite knowledgeable about fitness, taught me some basic weight training techniques using the old one-piece Universal gym equipment, along with some barbells.
1978 was also the year I decided I would become an actress. I was not overweight. At 5’2”, my weight then was about 115, give or take a pound or so. In January, 1979, I landed my first speaking role in a national McDonald’s commercial while I was still a senior in high school. I was cast as the ditzy Goldie Hawn-type who just could not say the lengthy name of the new lettuce and tomato burger to save her life. I loved filming the spot, and I was hooked.
I got an agent in Hollywood, and started commuting the 60 miles to Los Angeles from my Orange County home for auditions. It was thrilling to me. I loved the rush of auditioning, I loved working on my lines, I even loved seeing all the familiar faces as I continued in the business and started auditioning with the same actors time and again. There was a camaraderie that was comforting; a bond forms with others who have the same big aspirations and are working toward the same goals.
And I was fortunate. I was admitted into Screen Actors Guild (“SAG”) in 1980 when I was cast in a principal role in a Mormon Church Public Service Announcement. This “commercial” was actually a mini-drama, and I played the rich and popular snobby girl who victimizes the new girl at school, a sweet Mormon.
After getting into SAG, more parts opened to me. But one thing was undisputable. The thinner, more lithe, girls got more of the parts, even if it was a counter-girl role for a fast-food chain and the wardrobe would be a baggy polyester top and pants, and the only visible part of the actress was from waist up, as she smiled across the counter.
It is well known that controlling your weight is critical in the entertainment industry, and it was no different then. At 5’2”, I noticed if I went up even a pound or so, it was visible on camera, and I did not work. Conversely, as I began to carefully watch my diet and drop down to 111, then 109, then finally 107, I got more jobs.
In the early 80’s, Jack LaLanne opened a gym in my area. This time, it was my dad and I who joined. Jack LaLanne’s was a progressive place, with a juice bar and exercise machines that clanked loudly when the weights moved. It also had three stationary Schwinn bikes (with a knob to control resistance) so I could continue with my commitment to 12 minutes of cardio. At that time, there was never a problem getting on the bikes – hardly anyone else was using them.
I went to Jack LaLanne’s nearly every day. What I didn’t realize was that my now-husband, Rob, was working there. When the first aerobics classes started, I was the first in line to take the class – taught by Rob. A strange coincidence. We never formally met while at Jack LaLanne’s, but that commitment to the gym was a bit unusual then, and it is a commitment we share to this day.
CHAPTER 2
By 1983, I settled on a way to control my weight. These were the days of the movie “Flashdance” and Jane Fonda’s Workout Book, which was very informative, and her subsequent workout videos. I used these principles and started working out after I ate, sometimes several times a day, attempting to burn all the calories I had ingested as I could never quite sustain a super-low calorie diet for more than a day without rebounding with a vengeance.
By this time, the recommendation for sustained aerobic activity had increased from 12 minutes to 20, so I would do at least 20 minutes, depending on whether there was a line for the stationary bikes at the gym as they had grown more popular. If necessary, I would go back to the gym for a second round just on the bike. It was exhausting, but effective, at least for a while.
I read Cheryl Tieg’s book, “The Way to Natural Beauty.” Cheryl Tiegs, a gorgeous tall and curvy blonde, was one of the first “supermodels” back in the 70’s who shot to stardom when she was featured in a bathing suit on the cover of Sports Illustrated. I loved her book, and learned many valuable weight-control techniques from it, including some I still use today, like peeling away the top layer of a hamburger bun as you eat the burger, so you have something to hold on to while you’re eating, but by the time you’ve finished you’ve left an entire half of the bun untouched – and unmissed.
Controlling my weight consumed my attention as it dictated how much I worked in the industry I loved. And as my weight dropped, I was cast in many national commercials. I did two spots for Kentucky Fried Chicken. In the first one, I was part of a group of counterpersons singing the theme song, during which images from Kentucky Fried Chicken
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stores around the world floated across the screen. Later, that commercial was released on radio, so we had to go in and dub some of the singing – a painful experience for me – but it also allowed me to join The American Federation of Television and Radio Artists (“AFTRA”), so now I belonged to both actor’s unions.
In the second KFC commercial, I was their featured spokeswoman, wearing the old brown polyester uniform – and cap – as I talked into the camera holding a bucket of steaming chicken. I still remember my lines: “At Kentucky Fried Chicken, we only serve you plump juicy chicken that’s just been cooked!” Then at the end of the commercial I come back on screen for my close up: “It’s America’s favorite chicken!” Pretty dorky, but I was thrilled.
After an upsetting break up with a boyfriend, my weight dropped to 104, and I was rewarded – I was cast in a bikini in a Pepsi Cola commercial with a then-unknown Heather Locklear (who had just gotten, but not yet filmed, her part in Dynasty, a wonderful night-time soap that launched her to stardom).
In 1985, I was cast in my first commercial for Sine-Off sinus medication. This was as unglamorous as it sounds. The story line involved a female battalion, with an intimidating sergeant hollering, “What’s the problem O’Ryan?” at Private O’Ryan, who is sick with a painful sinus infection. Private O’Ryan was based on the Goldie Hawn character in the comedy “Private Benjamin.” And again, I was cast in the Goldie Hawn part, as the stuffy Private having to face off with the angry sergeant, who now leads the whole battalion in loudly singing: “What do you need for sinus pain? Sine-Off, Sine-Off! What do you need to breathe again? Sine-Off, Sine-Off!”
This first Sine-Off commercial was shown regionally, but then I was cast again in the national version. By this time, in fall of 1985, I was pregnant with my first child, and it was not hard for me to play sick. I was genuinely nauseated from the beginning of the pregnancy till the end. In this second commercial, the action was expanded as it was a full 60-second spot, and I remember nearly throwing up as I had to run across the field with a smile on my face at the end. That commercial, and the song from it, played incessantly on prime-time network television, and I believe it was Star Magazine that ran a picture of me and Linda Gary, the actress who portrayed the sergeant, and reported its informal poll results voting us one of the 10 worst commercials ever. Still, that campaign was effective – Sine-Off sales increased, and I even got fan mail.
CHAPTER 3
Shortly after the second Sine-Off commercial, I auditioned for a part in comedian Rodney Dangerfield’s movie, “Back to School.” The movie, now a popular rerun on cable, concerned a wealthy businessman, Thornton Melon (played by Dangerfield), who enrolled in college to encourage his son to make it through. I was pregnant and nauseated, so my weight was now quite low, but I ate Saltine crackers on the way to the audition and got the part.
I was cast as a coed at college registration. In my scene, the registration lines are horrifically long, and we see Melon’s limousine in the university parking lot. Melon’s driver, Lou, played by actor Burt Young (who was Sylvester Stallone’s brother-in-law Paulie in the Rocky movies), was standing alongside the limo holding up a sign that said “Bruce Springsteen.” Melon and Lou were trying to divert the students over to the limo so Melon could move to the front of the registration line. I was the coed who runs up to Lou yelling “Where is he? Where is he?” as he smacks my head away.
I was again fortunate – when I was cast in the movie, they did not know I was pregnant, as I was not yet showing and I was to film within a week or so. My filming ended up being delayed, and I wasn’t called to the set for a few months. By that time, my pregnancy had started to show. Alan Meter, the director, was a very kind man. Instead of cutting my role, he instead gave me a close up, so my protruding stomach was not visible.
I had my first child, a baby girl, in June, 1986, when I was 25 years old. Because I was so nauseous during my entire pregnancy, I only gained 20 pounds, and was back down to about 107 – 108 within 10 days of her birth. By then, there was a new gym in my area – what was then called “Family Fitness Center” (and is now “24-Hour-Fitness.”) Still ultra-committed to fitness, I joined Family Fitness at a makeshift counter they set up in a parking lot while this state-of-the-art gym was being constructed.
Soon after my daughter was born, I was working out six to seven days per week, now doing 30 minutes of cardio and 30 minutes of weight training. By this time, cardio was the rage, and Family Fitness responded by outfitting their gym with dozens of upright Lifecycles with 20-minute limits when there was a waiting line. I became adept at jumping off the cycle at 20 minutes, then quickly running to the end of the line to get my last 10 minutes in.
After a few months, I was ready to go back to acting. I was cast in a national Canada Dry commercial as a secretary at lunch, sitting on a park bench, ogling a hunky construction worker as he struts by. For Chevrolet trucks, I was cast as an exuberant young bride, running and jumping into her groom’s arms on their wedding day, absolutely destroying the white satin shoes from wardrobe. I leaped off a dry dock in a billowing white chiffon dress into my date’s powder blue Mustang convertible for a Bob’s Big Boy commercial. I burned my mouth biting into hot pepperoni pizza for Domino’s Pizza, and they used the footage of the hot cheese stringing from my mouth as I pulled the piece away.
During these days, I employed a multitude of weight control techniques. I was on the cabbage soup diet, which allowed unlimited amounts of homemade cabbage soup, and very little else. I lasted about three days, but I did drop three pounds. I read “Dr. Atkins Diet Revolution” book and tried eliminating carbs. I love carbs, so Atkins was a particular nightmare for me; I could only sustain it for less than a week. I did individual days of all-juice fasts, which were supposed to “detox” me, but instead left me weak, shaky and famished. The “grapefruit diet,” in which you eat a grapefruit at the end of every meal under the theory the acid in it would burn up your food was a complete bust for me. I don’t even like grapefruit, plus I didn’t even lose one pound on this. I tried substituting fresh lemon juice for the grapefruit, to no avail. Then, in despair, some mornings I would just throw all caution to the wind and go to the donut shop for an apple fritter and coffee, then not eat a bite until late at night, when hunger would overtake me and I’d eat a massive bowl of homemade popcorn.
CHAPTER 4
On several occasions I used Dexatrim, over-the-counter diet pills. I always lost a quick pound or so with these, but I just felt horribly shaky and off-kilter when I took them. I tried Herbalife, a protein/vitamin shake meal replacement plan, which left me hungry and grouchy. I turned to Slim-Fast, another milkshake meal replacement product, and felt no different on it than Herbalife. I was discouraged. I was aware my eating habits and weight control methods were unhealthy, but search as I might, I could not find any balanced way of staying at my “fighting weight” that would not wreak havoc on my system.
There were sharp consequences for failing to control my weight. For example, I landed the part of “pretty girl in the stands” at a NASCAR-type race for a national Aqua Velva commercial. There were three of us cast. One week later, I appeared for wardrobe. In that week – during my finals at college, where I attended at night studying communications – I binged out two times. That was all it took. By the time I showed up at wardrobe, the clothes were embarrassingly tight; I could barely pull up the zipper of the bright yellow jeans I was to wear. There was an uncomfortable silence as I shuffled out of the dressing room to show the producers. I skulked out of there, and by the time I arrived home my agent was calling with the bad news – I had been fired. Humiliated and ashamed, I did not eat more than 400 calories a day for the next few days, and then, of course, I binged again.
With much effort, I got my weight back under control. I joined NutriSystems, a weight loss program. It was costly for me, but worth it. I did lose about 3 – 4 pounds in 10 days, but I was miserable. I do not know what kind of food they use today, but when I was there, it was mainly pre-packaged tiny portions that left me far from being satiated. I knew I could not sustain this kind of eating for any length of time, but it did the trick for a quick, although temporary, solution.
I had my second child, my son, in 1989, when I was 28 years old. I was not quite as sick with this pregnancy, and I gained 28 pounds. Once again, I was back to my pre-pregnancy weight within a few weeks, going back to the gym within 10 days. By now, I had upped my cardio to 45 minutes, with 30 – 40 minutes of weights. Aerobics classes and step classes were now plentiful, so some days I would do my cardio and weights in the early morning, then come back at night for a class to burn off dinner.
I was back to college and acting very quickly. After nearly 10 years of part-time classes, I was getting close to graduating from college. And now I was being sent out on auditions for daytime soap operas as well as commercials. It was fun trying to land a contract role on a soap, and although I came close several times, ultimately I was unsuccessful at getting a regular role.
Still, I landed two small parts on Days of Our Lives. For the first, I was a “barfly” where I got to wear a gorgeous low-cut velvet top and skirt, and have a drink at the local bar. In the other, I was cast as the “sexy stewardess” who makes eyes at one of the male lead characters, ticking off his female companion. I was also cast in General Hospital as an “evil secretary.” This was a huge thrill for me, as I had watched General Hospital since I was a girl, and being on their familiar sets felt like coming home. I got to meet Jacqueline Zeman, the actress who has played Nurse Bobby Spencer for decades. She was not only very kind, she was even more beautiful in person.
By January, 1990, I finally graduated from college with my Bachelor of Arts in Communications, with an emphasis in Journalism. I was continuing to audition, but the commute to Los Angeles was growing more arduous as traffic had greatly increased, and my children’s schedules were expanding. I never did get that contract role on a soap opera, which would have brought stability, so I began contemplating new career ideas. I always enjoyed writing, and now that I had my degree, I was hired to write monthly human interest articles for a new magazine, Automotive Today, which was great because I could work from home. I also took a part-time job as a copy editor at our large regional newspaper. I found I loved editing other’s work, and particularly enjoyed this job.
CHAPTER 5
Toward the end of 1991, I settled on a new career path – attorney. I thought my strong writing skills and ability to speak in public through years of acting would prepare me for law, and they did. I began law school full time in January 1992, attending night school, and was quickly hired as the nightshift clerk in the law library.
Law school was brutal. The study time was extensive, so between my children, work and school, it was time to let acting go. It felt like a relief and a heartbreaking divorce at the same time. But finally, after 13 years in the entertainment industry, I was free of the tremendous pressure to monitor my weight so closely.
It ended up not mattering so much. After a lifetime of commitment to weight maintenance and fitness, it was ingrained. I continued exercising daily, sometimes at 11:00 p.m. when I would get off work at the library. Other times, I would get up and exercise at 5:00 a.m. before my children got up and I would get them ready for school. I had continued with at least 45 minutes of cardio and 30 minutes of weight training, so I learned how to study my notes and flash cards on the stationary bike so as not to waste any time.
Although my weight was free to vary now, I didn’t allow myself more than a three pound gain before I would again diet in earnest. At 5’2”, three pounds is a clothing size, and I would not buy bigger clothes. By continuing to exert a lot of thought and effort, I was able to maintain my weight at around 109 – 110, which was fine now that I was out of acting.
After law school, I began the boot camp that is the plight of all new lawyers. I worked long hours, most weekends, yet still refused to yield my one-and-a-half hours per day workouts. By now, 24-Hour Fitness was genuinely open 24 hours per day, and there were times I was working out at 1:00 a.m., after work, helping the kids with homework and putting them to bed. This was exhausting, but I was adamant about maintaining my weight at 110 or below.
By now, there were new weight control methods on the market. One, the apple-cider vinegar diet, required you to put a tablespoon or so of apple cider vinegar in eight ounces of water and drink it, several times a day. One of our legal secretaries swore by this method, and she clearly had no problems keeping her weight down, so I tried it. It did nothing for me. The most effective weight control method I had found was to double up on workouts on days I overate, or fast the next day.
I did begin to notice there was a direct correlation between deprivation and bingeing. Days on which I successfully ate very little and went to bed hungry were typically followed by a day in which I binged, abrogating all benefit of the prior day’s restriction. More than a decade later, studies on obesity would confirm this was true for most people.
My 30’s passed without much change in my weight. I had settled into a strict pattern of lengthy and daily gym workouts, occasional binges followed by excessive exercising and fasting. My daily diet was basically healthy, or so I thought. I began every morning with either a homemade raisin oat bran muffin, or a whole wheat bagel with light cream cheese. Lunch was usually fruit with either yogurt or salad. I always ate a big salad at dinner, along with either a large baked potato, pasta, veggies over brown rice, or an occasional grilled chicken breast. Most nights, I would snack on a fairly large bowl of popcorn popped in olive oil. Generally, I was eating a low-fat, high carbohydrate diet, but because the carbs were not refined (for the most part), I thought I was a healthy eater.
CHAPTER 6
Not till I hit my 40’s did things change. Very soon after my 40th birthday, I noticed my energy level was beginning to wane. By late afternoon, I was always exhausted and begging for a nap. In the next few years, I found that even if I caught an afternoon nap, I still could not stay awake at night much past 9:00 p.m., and I would still sleep until 6:30 or 7:00 a.m. Before, I was always very energetic with only six or seven hours sleep. Then, I started having to get up every couple of hours – sometimes five or six times a night – to go to the bathroom, no matter what time of day I had stopped drinking liquids. My skin had started forming some dry patches. Nothing major, but I noticed them and it bothered me as no amount of cream seemed to solve the problem.
Probably the worst change for me is that I had started to consistently gain weight that no amount of exercise solved. It was only a little bit every year – a pound or so – but by the time I was in my mid 40’s, I was up to 115, give or take a pound. With my strict eating and exercise habits, I could not fathom why this was happening, so I chalked it up to perimenopause.
Ultimately, though, it ticked me off. Why should I lose my vibrancy and vitality in middle age? And if I was consistently gaining a pound or so a year, where would I be in 10 years?
I began to research. I studied the new health and fitness books on the market. This time, though, I was particularly focusing on those that addressed “middle age spread” and hormonal changes in women that cause weight gain and make it harder to lose. I became convinced I must have a thyroid problem, so I had it tested. It was fine. I spoke with my gynecologist to learn what I could about these hormonal changes. I tried a progesterone cream for a while, then stopped, as my weight did not budge. I spoke with personal trainers and picked their brains. I read dozens of the newer studies on weight gain and effective exercise. I learned I could be exercising more efficiently so as not to require 45 minutes of cardio a day. I also learned you only need to ingest an extra 100 calories per day to have a 10-pound weight gain at the end of the year. Well, 100 calories is nothing – that can be found in a large apple, or a small glass of red wine.
I found web sites that helped determine the number of calories you need to reach your desired weight. I learned I could eat about 1,800 calories a day to get back down to my fighting weight of 107 - 108, and I was perplexed because I thought that’s about what I had been eating, give or take a little. So I followed the expert recommendations and began keeping a food journal and measuring my food to accurately identify the calories in everything I ate. I was shocked to learn I was actually eating about 2,600 calories per day. My idea of a proper “portion” was all out of whack, just like most of America.
Now that I knew the problem – I was simply eating too many calories - I continued with my regular foods and just tried to cut down the amount I was eating. The problem was I was left unsatiated; it seemed I was always hungry. I was still very fatigued, still getting up all night to go to the bathroom, and my skin was still dry.
I was unwilling to use diet or appetite suppressant pills because I never liked their side effects, so I went back to research more about hunger and appetite. What causes us to eat beyond the amount necessary for our bodies to function healthfully and maintain a slim weight? Studies show we, as a nation, are gaining weight at an alarming rate. There are all kinds of theories as to why this is so, but I innately felt life-long vitality and normal body weight were natural to us if we gave our body the right tools. I was also convinced that no human can walk around hungry and deprived without satisfying that hunger for any length of time. There must be another answer.
CHAPTER 7
I began analyzing the composition of the foods I was eating and the effect they had on my body. Broken down to basics, I learned that carbohydrates are metabolized as a sugar, giving a quick energy rise, then fall. Proteins stabilize blood sugar levels. Fats help us to absorb nutrients, and also provide that all-important satiety factor.
With that, I now focused on what I was eating at each meal, how it was affecting my energy level and whether it was keeping hunger at bay. I found my “healthy” breakfast of a bran muffin or whole wheat bagel was mainly carbs with a bit of fat. There was almost no protein. I found my lunches of fruit and yogurt or a salad with a slice of whole wheat toast were also mainly carbs, with a little fat, and again, almost no protein. Dinner was the same – salads, baked potatoes, pasta, veggies and rice – all my favorite foods were carb heavy, with just a little bit of fat. I estimated my diet was essentially 70% carbs, 15% protein and 15% fat. No wonder I was tired – my body would get a rush of energy from the carbs, and without adequate protein to stabilize my blood sugar, I would then crash. And I wasn’t eating enough fat to remain satiated so I was eating more calories than I needed.
I tried all the popular weight-loss programs and studied their principles. I scoured the options, and while I gleaned some useful information, I never found a program that really worked “as is”. Weight Watchers seemed to be a very healthy and balanced way to eat, but I didn’t want to deal with the recipes and weekly menus they had at that time. Some plans recommended you eat breakfast within an hour of rising, then eat at regular intervals (a total of three meals and two snacks) throughout the day to prevent you from ever getting hungry. I knew there was no way I could eat breakfast within an hour of getting up – I am usually not hungry for a few hours – and there are days I have no desire for snacks. None of the plans were a perfect fit for me, but there were bits and pieces I found useful. So I decided to experiment with those gems to see what worked best.
I started with breakfast. I relinquished my muffin or bagel and substituted a piece of whole grain toast and an egg with a slice of cheese. I wasn’t full. The next day, I decided to dump the slice of cheese, and add another egg. This was a bit better, but when I substituted ½ of a small whole wheat bagel with 2 poached eggs, I found I had great energy and wasn’t hungry for about four hours. Bingo.
Lunch was next. I learned about the glycemic index of foods – the higher the sugar/starch content, the higher the food rates on the glycemic index, and the more your body will react to that food by gaining quick energy followed by a crash. Vegetables, particularly the non-starchy ones like broccoli, peppers and tomatoes, are generally much lower on the glycemic index than fruit, which have a lot of sugar. So I decided to forgo my fruit at lunch and substitute sliced tomatoes and cucumbers with seasoned salt, then eat a large chicken breast or an open-faced sandwich with a protein, such as tuna or turkey with cheese. Once again, my energy level remained high, and I was not hungry until dinner.
For dinner, I continued with my life-long habit of starting with a huge salad. I just made sure to use the lower glycemic veggies in it, such as red cabbage, broccoli and cucumber, and forgo some of the higher-glycemic carrots. Instead of a carb-heavy entre, like a large baked potato or pasta with white sauce, I tried rotisserie chicken or salmon. I quickly found I could add some starch to my dinner, like a half cup of brown rice or half of a baked potato, and I still had high energy.
I was careful to eat my prescribed 1700 to 1800 calories per day, and now that I had revamped my ratios of carbs/protein/fat, this was actually very easy to do. That amount of calories now completely satisfied me. In fact, it was hard for me to believe that I was eating fewer calories than I used to because I was much more satisfied and the constant hunger I used to have was gone.
It only took about two days of eating this way to convince me to keep with it. Almost immediately, I no longer had the debilitating late afternoon fatigue. I quickly began only having to get up to go to the bathroom one time per night. Based on my research, I believe the change in bathroom habits is because I’ve lowered my carb intake – I learned from one study that for every one gram of carb you take in, your body retains four grams of water. I believe this water retention was causing me to have to get up all night.
Within a week or so, the scale was starting to move down – from 113.9 to 112. By the end of four weeks, I was at 110.5. Four weeks later, I was at 108.9. A few weeks after that, I hit 107.2. My weight has remained at 107 - 108 effortlessly ever since.
The dryness in my skin has completely disappeared. I believe this is because I now have adequate fat in my diet. My energy level is back to where it was more than a decade ago - I can now go to bed at 11:30 p.m. and get up at 6:30 a.m. and have full energy throughout the day.
I have finessed the plan to fit my needs more perfectly. I now maintain my weight at 108 with ease. Weight control no longer runs my life nor dominates my thoughts. There is no more struggle and strain, or that uncomfortable feeling of swimming upstream.
The sense of relief gained from a simple and healthy weight control method is immeasurable. The sense of confidence I have enjoyed from this has, in turn, positively enhanced every aspect of my life.
In retrospect, I can see this struggle really wasn’t about weight control. It was, and is, about freedom. I found that, like most women, until I was released from the constant preoccupation with my weight, I was not free to fully participate joyfully in life. I have learned I am not unique in feeling this way.
My wish for you is the same as my wish for myself – that perhaps the principles I have found will help you to achieve the same health, vitality, fitness – and ultimately freedom – we all want.
I wish you all the best.
Holly
